


Of the Third World

by KHfreak813



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Epilogue to Gankona Unnachgiebig Unità, M/M, set in its universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KHfreak813/pseuds/KHfreak813
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First of four one-shots gifted to Jazz. Epilogue to Gankona, Unnachgiebig, Unità and set in its universe. Third World Countries. Whether they were simply neutral during the Cold War or of lesser economic status, they all fall under one category. That doesn't mean they are inferior to the First and Second Worlds. The Axis Trio can attest that for themselves. Geritapan. Shounen-ai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of the Third World

Congratulations to **Jazz** for guessing the trivia correctly in the last chapter of  Gankona, Unnachgiebig, Unità! This is the first of four one-shots dedicated to her!

If you like this, feel free to read the other stories on my profile and in ff.net! ^_^

Make sure to leave plenty of reviews! They make me happy! XD

Please don't flame! Don't like, don't read.

Oh yes, if you haven't read Gankona, Unnachgiebig, Unità before this fic, you should since this story is a continuation of that universe! Be sure to leave plenty of reviews there too please! (:

Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of Hetalia. It belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I only own this and every other story I have.

* * *

"Ve~! What a beautiful day today is!"

The smell of crisp salt in the air. Water, water everywhere. Bright blue clear skies. The cries of chatty gulls and albatrosses heard all around. All those and more were experienced by all those aboard the cruise traveling across the seas, a certain three present too.

A certain country who bore limpid brown orbs and caramel brown tresses with a long curl leaned on the railing of the deck, taking a deep breath while basking in the sun. "Fantastico!"

"Suteki da ne?" Hazel hues snapped back, taking in the sight of a raven man bearing piercing black eyes approaching his left...

...along with a bulky blond with bright blue eyes going to his right. "Ja tatsächlich."

"Kiku! Ludwig!" Swinging an elbow around their necks, he brought them close, delivering swift pecks to both their lips.

Japan blushed as he placed a hand on the brunet's shoulder. "O-Ohayōgozaimasu Feli-kun."

"G-Guten Morgen Feliciano." Red tinted Germany's cheeks as he did the same.

The addressed only squealed harder as he brought the pair even closer to himself. "Buongiorno a tutti e due!" Upon calming down, Italy glanced at the two in turn, a brilliant smile on his face. "So where are we going?"

"Ludwig-san and I had planned out our entire honeymoon in advance." The sable spoke. "We are going to be traveling quite a bit."

The flaxen cut in. "Yes, we are." He smiled. "Kiku and I decided the three of us will be going to various Third World Countries."

"Third World?" A brown brow quirked. "As in the countries who remained neutral during the Cold War or lesser developed countries?"

The Asian shrugged. "Both I guess." He scratched his chin with his free hand. "The latter is the term's current meaning while the former is the previous. We chose from both categories."

"That's so cool!" The blithe beamed. "I can't wait to go to the first!" He jumped up and down in excitement. "Where are we going?!"

The fulvous smiled. "You'll see."

* * *

"Welcome to my place!"

Upon disembarking at their first destination, the trio was met by a young man bearing short sandy blond hair with a white beret on top and violet eyes standing at the docks, waving wildly at the three.

Germany went to him, giving a firm handshake. "Thank you for letting us be here Finland."

"No problem!" The guy beamed. "In fact, I was just about to invite you guys to my place right when you called me! Congratulations on getting married by the way!"

Italy giggled. "Thanks Finland!"

"T-Thank you so much Finrando-san." Japan bowed.

The addressed held his hands up. "There's no need to thank me!" He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "I really hope my place is nice enough for the occasion!"

"Don't worry so much." Magenta widened as a hand was put on their owner's shoulder, turning to see the German's lips quirked. "Your place is more than worthy." That hand clapped the shorter's back. "Tour us around."

Magenta widened even further as the Italian's arms wrapped around their possessor's neck. "Yeah, show us around!"

"I would like to see your country and all of its splendor." The Japanese chuckled.

The Finnish couldn't help but smile at all that. "Then it's settled."

"YAY!" Releasing the grip he had on the Nordic, the brunet allowed him to lead the way as they began exploring the surrounding terrain.

From the splendid ruins of the Vaasa to the bustling Turku to the white city of Tampere to the verdant Archipelago National Park to the grand Oulu to the wilderness of the Lemmenjoki National Park to the vast Lake Saimaa and Savonlinna to the ethereal Northern Lights gracing the Arctic sky to the grand Jyväskylä to the dazzling Helsinki to the majestic Hameenlinna to the islets of Aland...they saw it all. Italy and Japan were absolutely astonished by the supreme beauty of the land, in awe as they absorbed each attraction as though they were the most dehydrated of sponges taking in water for the first time, Germany smiling the whole way. Finland really needed to stop underestimating himself.

The pleasant surprises had yet to cease though... "And here we are!"

"Eccezionale..."

"Subarashii..."

"Wunderschön..."

Even the blond did not expect what was seen; a lane of large candy canes led to a cozy one-story building bearing windows that radiated a warm light all over as well as pillars that matched the stripes and colors of said candy canes, the sign right outside the structure giving away what it was. So it _is_ real after all...

The brunet was the first to reanimate, jumping up and down excitedly. "We're at Santa's Workshop?!"

"Precisely." The Finnish smiled. "I may dress up and act as Santa Claus much of the time during Christmas, but Santa himself actually does exist." He shrugged. "I just help him out."

The flaxen's mouth dropped. "So you work with Santa?"

"Yep." The explainer abruptly leaned in as though he were telling a secret. "His existence is supposed to be kept very hush-hush though."

The raven quirked a brow. "Then why are you letting us here Finrando-san?"

"The thing is..." A wide grin spread across the inquired's face. "...Santa told me to bring you three here so he can congratulate you three on getting married himself!"

The auburn squealed. "Really?!"

"Yes." The Nordic smiled. "He couldn't attend the wedding personally because, you know...but he really wants to wish the newlyweds a happy future!" He then approached the door, opening and holding it open. "Let's go in!"

And go in they did. The scene that greeted the visitors enthralled them to no end; a hearth filled with the burning logs of the fireplace which kept the place warm, the wooden walls of the cabin, the stockings all around, the viscaceae hanging from every possible crevice in the ceiling, the tiny elves running about, the extremely long list leading to a jolly old chubby guy who had a long beard in an oh-so-familiar red and white suit...they took it all in. The last one amazed them the most though. So much so that one simply could not contain himself.

"SANTA!" The addressed had less than one second to put down what he held before he found a certain Mediterranean country in his arms, said country rubbing their cheeks together rapidly.

The other three countries watched on, jaws agape. Several tick marks appeared in the German's temples. "FELICIANO! YOU CAN'T JUST—"

"Ho ho ho! Merry marriage!" Blue eyes cannoned straight from their skull at what happened next; the hugged eagerly returned the embrace, laughing all the way. Well, that shut the blond up. Upon breaking apart, the man glanced at the other occupants in the room. "Thank you so much for bringing them Finland!"

The thanked blushed. "No problem Santa!"

"Oh! And are these the lucky grooms?" The questioner walked up to Germany and Japan, a warm smile on his face. "Ho ho ho! Merry marriage!"

The flaxen was taken aback. "M-Much obliged Santa."

"I-I appreciate this from the very bottom of my heart Santa-san." The sable bowed.

Both nations cried out as hands abruptly clapped onto their backs. "Oh you three are precious!" Jolly laughter filled the air as the guy returned to the seat he had previously occupied, picking up his list once more. "Would you three like to know if you are in the naughty or nice list?"

"Sì!"

"Hai!"

"Ja!"

The sandy chuckled at their enthusiasm as the asker searched through his list, eyes widening as he stopped at a certain spot. "You three are...in the nice list!"

"YAY!" Two certain nations suddenly found themselves on their backs, in the arms of the third as kisses were showered all over their faces. It was a miracle upon miracles the workshop did not spontaneously detonate.

Finland couldn't help but smile at the sight. "I'm happy for you three." Magenta orbs happened to drift up, an uncharacteristic smirk forming on their owner's face. "Oh guys..." Three sets of eyes flicked up to where that finger was pointing. Since when was that piece of mistletoe there?!

"You know what this means..." Those three sets snapped back to Santa as innumerable elves entered the room, all beaming at the trio. "KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!"

The Nordic was quick to join in. "KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!"

"KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!" Soon the walls were vibrating with the intensity of that chant.

Who were they to deny? Loving gazes where exchanged amongst the three as they took each other into their arms, leaning in.

Everyone cheered as the triad shared a three-way kiss right under the mistletoe.

* * *

"Welcome to my place."

After giving them a complete tour of Santa's Workshop—after being sworn to secrecy of course—Finland personally escorted them back to the cruise, both exchanging heartfelt partings as the ship left the shore. However, its next destination was merely a matter of miles away, a very tall blond man with turquoise eyes and a stern expression on his face in sight.

THUD! Germany, Italy, and Japan whirled around toward the source of that sound, eyes widening; a man who had white hair and pale skin had collapsed, laid passed out on the floor.

"Bruder..." The German walked up to his brother, kneeling down before proceeding to shake him.

A groan escaped Prussia's lips as he regained consciousness, rubbing at his temples as he slowly stood back up. "What the—AAAAHHHH!" Faints again.

"Why does Puroisen-san keep on fainting?!" The Japanese cried, frantically running to the albino's side.

The addressed shook his head. "I have no idea—"

"Is it because of me?" All eyes snapped up as the aforementioned man suddenly appeared, having climbed onto the boat as it docked.

Red eyes blew out of proportion as they opened once more, a not-so-awesome not-so-masculine scream ringing out. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Faints for a third time.

"Hey Sweden!" The brunet waved.

The sibling sighed as he faced the arrival. "Do you have any idea why bruder passes out around you?"

"Nope." The questioned shrugged. "He once fainted fourteen times when he came to my house to clean it."

Face-palm. "Bruder—"

"Is it because of the Great Northern War?" All eyes snapped onto the Italian as he spoke.

The Swedish sighed. "...Probably."

"Oh hon hon hon! Don't worry about this!"

"We'll take care of it! Fu so so so so!"

A man possessing bright emerald hues and chocolate hair and another with flowing flaxen tresses—a beard on his face—appeared from within the vessel, questionable smiles on their faces as they approached their fallen comrade, picking him up by the armpits.

"France-nii-san, Spain-nii..." Italy stared at the pair, confounded.

The latter laughed. "We'll be taking Gilbert here with us!"

"Yes, we'll be needing Gilbert." The former smirked. Huh?! Since when did Bad Touch start to refer to each other by their human names?!

That question was left unanswered as the French and Spanish dragged the Prussian away, out of sight in a flash. Germany huffed. "Those guys..." He sighed as he switched his attention back to Sweden. "Thank you for having us."

"Y-Yes, thank you for having us Suweiden-san." That guy is really intimidating!

The addressed gave a firm nod. "...Sure." He then turned, making to walk out of the cruise. "Follow me."

The trio complied, tailing the stern nation as they went through the history-rich port city of Visby, the vista-filled paradise of Skåne, the picturesque Wallander's Ystad in Scandinavia, the glamorous Marstrand, the enchanting seascape of Kosterhavet, the humongous and phenomenal Icehotel in Jukkasjärvi, the diverse Malmö, the verdant lands of Gothenburg, the magnificent Stockholm Archipelago, and the ethereal Stockholm where lake meets sea on fourteen islands. The three were truly amazed; they never thought such an intimidating country could be so...beautiful. I guess Sweden and Germany have more in common than just facial structure.

There was still one more place to show the three though. "Here we are." The four stood in front of two trees that were to either side of a large green and white striped tarp that held many booths beneath, a crimson sign on top.

"So this is Skansen?" Japan pondered, scratching his chin.

Sweden nodded. "This way." After paying for tickets, the tetrad entered the open-air museum. The Swedish proceeded to tour the replica of the average 19th century town which spanned 75 acres, riding the Funicular railway to get around the large space before making to explore the open-air zoo containing bisons, brown bears, moose, grey seals, lynxes, otters, red foxes, reindeer, wolves, and wolverines. A certain brunet nation jumped up and down in barely contained excitement, having to be told multiple times to not play with the animals. Same with at the farmsteads; the auburn had to be held back so as to not play with the rare breeds of farm animals. The four stayed until the sun went down, strolling out as dusk settled.

"Ah~! That was so much fun!" Germany and Japan couldn't help but stare fondly at Italy as he skipped about, singing to himself.

The Japanese chuckled. "Yes it was."

"Indeed." The German smiled. "That was a really nice—"

THUD! Turquoise eyes snapped up, their owner assuming a defensive pose as he scanned his surroundings. "Who's there?!" Sweden screamed. The trio tensed, rapidly swiveling their heads too. Just what was that noise?! "Come out—"

"Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!" And then they saw the cover of a crate that had mysteriously been knocked over, innumerable pet carriers cryptically swung open, a swarm of squirrels spreading all over.

Piercing ebon orbs blasted into oblivion. "Oh. My. God."

"What kind of idiot would be so stupid as to purposely set a bunch of rodents free?" Germany face-palmed.

The Swedish sighed as he pulled out his phone, dialing. "I'll get Animal Control to—"

"Let's catch them!" Three sets of mouths dropped at those words.

Several angry red tick marks throbbed on the German's temples. "FELICIANO!" One could _swear_ steam was coming from raging ears. "DO YOU KNOW HOW FOOLISH THAT WOULD BE?!"

"LUDWIG!" Petulant stomp. The pouting swiveled, begging brown boring into shell-shocked sable. "Kiku, do you think that would be fun?"

How could the raven say 'no' to those begging brown eyes? The answer is...he can't. "S-Sure Feli-kun."

"Please Ludwig?" Begging brown next stared into stern cerulean. Would the same trick work twice?

Let's find out. "I-I-I-I..." Did it? The answer is obvious. "Oh fine." Who could resist those beautiful limpid brown eyes after all? Not Japan. Nor Germany. Never those two. Of course.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" The three's eyes snapped back to the fourth as he resumed punching in numbers. "Recapturing the squirrels should be left to professionals."

The blithe crossed his arms. "Were these squirrels given shots?"

"...Yes." A reluctant nod was given. "They're pretty clean too so no one would be able to catch any diseases from them."

Hands were held to hips. "Then why not?" A smirk suddenly crossed his lips. "Come on Sweden, I know you have a playful side."

"Who told you that?!" The sudden defensive tone combined with the flaming of cheeks gave the addressed away. Big time.

The questioned shrugged. "Poland told me once." That smirk was quick to return. "Come on Sweden! This is going to be fun!" Bright beaming. "There's nothing wrong with losing yourself! I promise! Don't be shy!" Is Sweden immune to those eyes? Is it even possible to be?!

"...F-Fine." No, it isn't. Nope. Never. Even blind people would fall for those eyes. They are just too pure and beautiful to resist after all.

People could not help but stop, children pointing fingers and crying out at the scene playing out right before them; four guys were chasing herds of squirrels. An Asian was pleading with the creatures to kindly comply. A German was screaming at them to obey his every command. A brown blur flashed about, snatching armful after armful of the critters. But the most shocking was that of a giant stern man in a crisp midnight military uniform...laughing as he ran after the rodents, laughing merrily as he did so, a stupid grin on his face—wait what?! What the heck?! The sight of Sweden chuckling as he held a bunch of squirrels in his arms, brushing their bushy tails caused all bystanders' mouths to drop into oblivion.

Just what is the world coming to?!

* * *

"I welcome you three to my humble place."

Upon regathering all the escaped critters and securing them, Sweden escorted the triad back to the cruise, features far more soft than before. Seriously, what did Italy do to him?! Are—North—Italians _that_ infectious?! Anyways, the ship took the three a little ways south, disembarking at the blond's own land which they simply passed through, heading towards a certain destination. A man who wore rectangular glasses and had wavy chestnut tresses—a mole to the left of his lower lip—and was adorned in a fancy blue coat met them upon reaching there.

The brunet squealed as he launched himself into the greeter's arms, heatedly rubbing their cheeks together. "AUSTRIA-NII!"

"I-Italy..." Red tinted the man's cheeks.

A throat was cleared, the pair turning to the one who performed that action. "...Thank you for letting us be here Austria." Germany began. "In fact, thank you for that advice that brought us all together."

"Yes, thank you so much." Japan bowed. "I am truly sorry we did not thank you earlier Osutoria-san."

The bespectacled shrugged. "It's fine." He smiled. "So how has your honeymoon been so far?"

"Just wonderful!" The brunet beamed. "We saw so many amazing things in Finland and Sweden and had so much fun!"

The raven smiled. "It's just as Feli-kun said."

"You know we still have more countries to see other than just those two, right?" The blond's lips quirked.

Another throat was cleared, all attention snapping back to the fourth. "Precisely." He then began walking. "Let me lead the way." The Austrian guided the triad through the grand Baroque architecture of Melk Abbey, the stunning Vienna State Opera containing an orchestra that put all others to utter shame, the pristine white stretch of Seefeld, the magnificent Hohensalzburg that overlooked all, the majestic palace of Hofburg Imperial, the picturesque Innsbruck Altstadt situated in the grand mountains of the Alpine, the verdant rolling hills of St Anton am Arlberg, the ethereal Grossglockner that made all feel like nothing compared to its grandiose build, the small yet far from insignificant glamorous village of Hallstatt, and the sumptuous Schonbrunn Palace that few attractions could rival in splendor...the three enraptured by each and every sight despite two of them having been raised in the Austrian's house—one as Holy Rome and the other as a child version of himself respectively.

And now the man led the trio into his home where something precious was lying in wait. "Here we go."

"Austria dear!" The addressed glanced up from where he sat, taking in the sight of a beautiful lady who had chestnut tresses—pink flowers hanging from the right—as well as emerald hues and was adorned in an elegant dress rushing to his side. The three entered her line of sight, the lady shrieking as she altered her trajectory, cannoning straight into the Italian. "ITA-CHAN!"

The blithe squealed as he heatedly returned the embrace. "HUNGARY-SAN!"

"K-Konnichiwa Hangarī-san." The Japanese bowed.

The German smiled. "Hallo Hungary."

"JAPAN! GERMANY!" Black and blue widened as their owners were abruptly lifted up, joining the possessor of brown in being whirled around. Just how strong is this woman?! How could a 5'3" female pick up a 5'5", 5'8", and 5'11" male respectively without breaking a single sweat?! Just how?!

A sigh could be heard coming from Austria as the maiden finally ceased her spinning, releasing two dizzy nations and one who looked more than ready for more. "Hungary dear, what are you doing here? I thought you were on the cruise."

"Uh-Uh—" Quick! "W-Why can't I see my precious darling?!" Green stared into purple.

Red tinted the Austrian's cheeks. "...Okay." A question suddenly swam in magenta hues. "By the way, where's Bad Tou—"

"Austria dear! Just play the piano already!" Too close for comfort!

The man sighed as he turned back to the instrument right in front of him, hands raised above it. "Fine." Melodious harmonies filled the air as fingers expertly glided across the keys, classics such as Mozart, Beethoven, Haydn, Bach, Handel, Schubert, Brahms, Chopin, and so many more permeating throughout the space. It was as though the composers themselves were there. Tears were brought to the listeners' eyes; the music was just that perfec—

"YAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

The audience was forced to cover their ears as a cacophonous screech rang out, palms slamming into the board. "WHO JUST YAWNED?!" Oh no! An angry aristocrat has been unleashed!

"WHY YOU!" An angry woman has been unleashed too—wait no! The fury instantly dispelled as the Hungarian rushed to the Austrian, clinging onto his arm. "C-Calm down Austria dear! You were just hearing things!"

A skeptical brow quirked. "Oh really? That sounded exactly like P—"

"Oh hey! Look! Look!" A frantic finger jabbed in the direction of a guitar that inexplicably manifested in the room, the lady rushing over to the object. "Here Ita-chan! Sing a song for us!" Brown eyes bugged as that object spontaneously appeared in his hands.

Hazel hues were wide. "Are you sure—"

"I would love to hear you sing Feli-kun." Caramel depths were stunned as they flickered to ebon...

...only to flick onto azure as their owner chuckled. "You love to sing after all and you sing beautifully too."

"YAY!" Bright beaming ensued as the guitar was carried with vigor, Italy rushing over to his father figure's side. "Austria-nii! Let's play 'Let's Boil Hot Water' for Ludwig and Kiku!" Begging brown stared into purple. "Please?"

It would take a really heartless person to resist those eyes. "A-Alright then."

"I'll get the soundtrack!" One moment Hungary was there and the next she was gone, what suspiciously sounded like a loud bang ringing out and a thud reverberating as she came back with a stereo seconds later. A sweet smile spread across her face as she set it down, plugging it in. "Here you go! You can begin now sweeties!"

Crimson combusted on the bespectacled's cheeks as he returned to his piano, fingers once again at the ready. "Are you ready Italy?" Purple glanced at the hazel.

"Yeah!" The stringed instrument was in the blithe's arms, strap securing it to his back as a hand held a pick, raring to pluck. The Italian then addressed their audience of three. "Hello everyone! I'll be singing 'Let's Boil Hot Water' and playing the guitar with Austria-nii on the piano!" On cue, the lady pressed the play button on the machine, what sounded like a bubbling noise filling the room for several seconds before an accordion came on, strings strumming and keys playing at that moment as well.

_"'Hey, this feeling inside me...you'll listen to me, won't you? To my huge...HUGE love...for pasta!'_

_I love pasta, you see!_  
_Can't you understand what I'm saying?_  
_But I want to say it over and over_  
_Just because I really love it!_

_The world is made of_  
_Precious flour and water!_

_When I look up to the empty sky_  
_I see lightly floating macaroni_  
_The happiness of slowly savoring the taste..._  
_Come on, let's boil hot water!_

_'I'm a little tired, I'll relax by eating some pasta~'_

_The source of my energy_  
_Durum semolina 100%_  
_If I'm not feeling well, I don't worry about it_  
_Tomorrow I'll power up 200%_

_A tomato box fairy will—Wha! I'm a tomato box fairy!_  
_Transform those tears into sauce!_

_When it stops raining I go see my friends_  
_and pile up memories with ravioli_  
_Since I want to see your smiling faces..._  
_Come on, let's boil hot water!_

_When the three of us gaze at the sky_  
_We see stelline glittering in the night sky_  
_Encircle the perfect star..._  
_Come on, let's boil hot water!_

_Pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta_

_Pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta_

_Pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta...yay!"_

Two hearts swelled larger and larger as each second of those four minutes passed; despite the song being about something as simple as pasta, it was sung in such a heartfelt manner not even the most hardened of people would be able to resist.

A certain woman could not stop squealing; how 'friend' was changed to 'friends', 'face' to 'faces', and 'two' to 'three'...she saw what her precious baby did there! They better send her _A LOT_ of pictures!

Once the last note had left the singer's lips and the Italian and Austrian bowed, Germany and Japan instantly stood, clapping wildly. That song was a perfect reflection of its creator, simply perfect.

That was just like their precious Italy after all.

* * *

"Tch. Welcome."

After parting from Austria's house—a certain brunet raining a shower of kisses on a certain aristocrat's face and a certain woman shrieking as she whirling that brunet around with an intensity rivaling a tornado—the three crossed the border, surprisingly not shot down as they met up with a short young man with choppy blond hair in a chin-length bob cut—a white beret on top—and dark flatly colored mint green eyes who had a rifle slung over his shoulder.

The guy tsked upon seeing the three. "Germany. Japan." Verdant narrowed at the third. "...Italy."

"Hey Switzerland!" The latter waved.

Black stayed completely unreadable as their owner bowed. "It's nice of you to let us be here Suisu-san."

"Yes, it is." Blue were equally as unreadable.

The addressed harrumphed. "I'm only doing this as an apology for attempting to shoot Italy twice, not for any other reason." The Swiss turned his back on the trio, walking away from them. "Follow."

"Uh Kiku..." The blond had approached the sable as they complied, leaning down to whisper into his ear. "...Why are we visiting Switzerland in the first place?"

A shrug was offered. "Not sure." A chin was scratched. "Well, Suisu-san _is_ a Third World Country in that he was neutral during the Cold War."

"I hope this wasn't a bad idea." Gulp.

The triad had caught up to the discussed, him showing them the colossus Mount Pilatus, the gushing Jet d'Eau which seemed to touch the sky, the luscious alpine town of Grindelwald, the roaring Rhine Falls, the resplendent Zytglogge, the scenic Bernina Express that gave picturesque panoramas of the Alps as it offered views of glaciers and towns, the Chapel Bridge filled with portraits which painted pictures of Lucerne's history, the paramount summit of Jungfraujoch that made anyone breathless just by looking at it in more ways than one, the floating Château de Chillon, and the iconic Matterhorn which scoffed upon all mortals daring to climb its peaks. The trio was amazed by the sheer beauty of the land; they definitely did not expect that from a country who tries to shoot those—Italy—who get too close to his border.

However, said country did not soften one bit, stiff in both movements and attitude. "That's all. You three can go now." Switzerland barked.

"Really?!" The brunet whined. "Aww! But this place is so nice!"

Tick marks appeared. "There's a reason why I try to shoot you." The irritated made to reach for his rifle—only to be halted by two death glares filled with _murderous_ intent.

"What do you think you're doing?" Knuckles cracked.

It was a wonder how nothing had spontaneously dropped dead at the suffocating auras emitting from the pair. "Don't you _dare_ hurt Feli-kun, Suisu-san." A real wonder indeed.

"Humph." That hand returned to its possessor's side. "...I'm neutral." Tch. "You three still need to go though."

The just-about-to-be-shot pouted. "Can we at least have one conversation before we go?!"

"...What?" The impatient sighed.

A light bulb suddenly went off as fingers snapped. "What about our siblings?"

"Siblings?" Switzerland quirked a brow. "Why that?"

The blithe beamed brightly. "Because all four of us have them!" A wide grin was given. "I love Romano-nii-chan so, so much! He might be mean sometimes—or most of the time...but he's actually a really nice person!" He giggled. "I'm so grateful to him for marrying me to Ludwig and Kiku!" What seemed to be a flustered outcry was sparsely audible a bit down south.

"Prussia might be a pain sometimes..." What suspiciously sounded like 'HEY!' could be heard in the background as the three turned, glancing at Germany as he spoke. "...but he's the best older brother I could ever ask for. If it weren't for him...I wouldn't be here in this day and I really treasure him." This time a 'WOO-HOO!' followed by a smacking sound could be detected by those who tried to listen in.

It was Japan's turn. "Chūgoku-san and I...we once had a strained relationship. I wasn't exactly the best younger sibling to him. But...our relationship has improved and now we're much closer than before." A small smile crossed normally stoic lips. "Chūgoku-san was the one to take me in when he found me in that bamboo forest and raise me. He taught me kanji and did so much for me. He really is a great big brother." One could _swear_ cheering went on many, many miles east.

"You have your little sister Liechtenstein, right?" The hazel prodded.

A surprisingly soft smile crossed the Swiss's lips at that. "Yes, I do." Mint seemed to travel back into the past as a nostalgic light entered them. "I made her my younger sister after saving her from sure death at the end of World War I and we have been very close ever since. I protect her since she has no military and we do everything together."

"See? That wasn't so bad!" To the flaxen's and sable's horror, the auburn launched himself into Switzerland's arms.

However...the guy didn't do anything. No shooting. No gunning down. Shock of a century. "...I guess." Red tinted his cheeks. Green abruptly perked, rifle instantly in the owner's hands as a shot was fired. To the three's ever-increasing surprise though...the target was _not_ Italy. "WHO'S THERE?!" Green glared into the bushes that had been rustling just earlier, smoke sizzling out of the hole planted just before them. The trigger was cocked once more, another shot aimed—

—just as a yellow wheel filled with holes mysteriously launched from the foliage, rolling towards the shooter. Eyes widening, the guy bent down upon returning his gun to his shoulder, closely examining the object. "Swiss cheese?" Sniffing at it, the scrutinizer grunted. "It doesn't smell rotten or poisoned." Shrug. "It's better than having to buy some." He cupped his mouth, facing the direction of the brush. "You're forgiven!"

"...Okay." The German just could not _not_ gape; is Switzerland _that_ frugal?!

The answer is...yes. The mentioned tore open the plastic after sanitizing his hands, holding out some of the cheddar. "...Here."

"Danke."

"Arigato."

"Grazie!"

Well it _would_ be rude to refuse after all. The three took large chunks each, the offerer taking his own before storing the rest away. "...Sure." And then the four began eating the cheese.

"Yum!" The blithe beamed brightly.

The raven nodded. "This is indeed delicious."

"Agreed." The fulvous smiled.

The fourth smirked. "Swiss cheese _is_ the best after all." And then they continued eating.

"Hey! I have an idea!" All eyes snapped onto Italy as he split his share into two pieces, offering them both to his husbands. "Here Ludwig, Kiku!" He grinned brilliantly.

BOOM! "H-Here Feliciano, Kiku." Germany did the same.

"H-Here Feli-kun, Ludwig-san." Japan divided his own as well.

Switzerland covered his eyes, red tinting his cheeks. "Get a room you three."

However, neither of them did that as the spouses fed each other, smiles on all their faces.

* * *

"Thank you for choosing my place!"

After leaving the Swiss country—said Swiss flushing as the trio thanked him for touring them—the three went south, entering Italy's land and then passing though it to the awaiting cruise which had sailed around the European landmass into the Mediterranian, getting on at a Florentine dock. After several days of travel—the newlyweds keeping themselves very busy throughout—they arrived in the waters of Asia, the ship disembarking at a certain peninsula, a young man with dark hair that is combed back and a tilaka on his forehead greeting them.

Italy waved eagerly at the guy. "Hey India!"

"O-Ohayōgozaimasu Indo-san." Japan bowed.

"Hello India." Germany grunted.

The man clasped his hands together, bowing as well. "Let me show you three around." The Indian served as the guide as he showed the visitors the golden domes of the magnificent Gurudwara Bangla Sahib, the panoramic impregnable Mehrangarh Fort, the supererogatory wealthy Siddhivinayak Temple, the unmatchably tall brick minaret of the Qutab Minar, the capacious Agra Fort that housed so many other buildings, the comprehensive Swaminarayan Akshardham, the hefty Bandra-Worli Sea Link which linked the Mumbai suburbs to south Mumbai across the Arabian Sea, the exquisite sacred Sikh shrine of the Golden Temple, the breathtaking Amber Fort and Palace that seemed to be its own little splendid city, and the majestic member of the Seven Wonders of the World Taj Mahal that makes all who visit it feel as though they were in a fairy tail with its enthralling presence. Of course the trio could not help but be bewitched. Nope. Not at all.

However, the surprises did not end there. "Whoa! Why are there so many cattle on the streets?!" It was as the brunet had said; bovine big and small roamed all around, unfettered and not quarantined as they wandered about freely.

"Cows are sacred animals in Hinduism." India began. "Cows are very useful for mankind; they give us milk and various dairy products which are good for our body. Every organ in a cow is useful even after it dies. Thus, cows are considered to be greater than the actual mother who gave us birth." The explainer glanced around. "As my land is becoming more and more modernized, the pastures the cows once feeded on are being replaced by roads and buildings; therefore, they must wander the streets to find food." He smiled. "However, that is not a problem since feeding cows is considered an act of goodness and humanity in Hinduism and is good karma." He laughed. "Everything works out!"

Black eyes were wide. "...Sugoi."

"That's incredible." The blond was no less amazed.

The brunet was simply starstruck. "This is so cute!" He squealed. "Imagine if there were some elephants!" Even more squealing.

"There are the occasional street elephants put to work by their owners for revenue." The Indian scratched his chin, eyes flicking as his finger shot up. "There's one over there!" A man could be seen walking across the street, a baby elephant in tow. "You there!" The guy was beaconed over.

After paying the appropriate amount of rupees—thank goodness Germany and Japan got the necessary currencies for each country they visited outside of the European Union—the owner allowed Italy to play with the calf, said calf fanning its ears as its chin was repeatedly scratched, the scratcher giggling. "So cute!" The progeny eagerly returned each rubbing of the cheek it received, both nuzzling up to each other.

"I couldn't agree more." A pale hand joined in on rubbing the creature's crown.

A large hand included itself as well. "Same here."

"Yeah..." The brunet suddenly sighed. "If only I could feed—"

THUD! Four heads swiveled as a crate of mangoes crashed onto the ground from literally nowhere, landing right in front of the Italian. Coincidence? I think not. Or is it? Who knows?

"Did someone drop this?!" The auburn wondered.

The Indian scratched his chin. "However, nobody had been passing by the moment the box was dropped, and it would have shattered if it had come from above."

"Good point." The German nodded.

The Japanese rubbed his temples. "Then just what could it have been?"

"A God must have done it!" All eyes fixed onto the guide as he snapped his fingers, facing the hazel. "One of the Gods must have seen how good of a country you are and decided to reward you!" Smile. "Karma pays back after all!"

The blithe beamed brightly, clasping his hands together whilst bowing slightly. "Thank you Hindu God!" Picking himself up, the ecstatic eagerly took one of the fruits, offering it to the elephant who eagerly accepted it, gobbling it down. The feeder squealed. "So cute—"

"Moo!" Limpid brown eyes snapped open, taking in the sight of a baby cattle standing right before him, staring with begging eyes.

Another fruit was held. "Are you hungry?" The answer was obvious as the creature snatched up the fruit, happily munching on it.

"I don't know which one's cuter!" Drool slipped from Italy's lips as he stared at the elephantine and bovine, squealing even more as he wrapped his arms around both, hugging them tightly.

Two hearts melted at the sight of those baby animals cuddling up to their beloved, the scene just too adorable for words. Their husband was the cutest of them all.

* * *

"Thank you for coming to see me!"

After leaving the subcontinent—with Japan having taken _a lot_ of pictures of his itoshii, even more than every single landmark they had previously visited combined—after thanking India for what he did for them, they embarked the awaiting cruise once more, sailing east and south and north again to reach a certain chain of islands in the Pacific not too far from the Japanese's own land. Upon disembarking, a beautiful tanned skin girl with curled semi-long choppy dark brown hair with bangs swept to the side—three Sampaguita flowers on the left—with a cross necklace around her neck who wore a baro't saya consisted of a thin white blouse, knee-length red skirt, and a pair of red sandals was there to greet them.

The raven smiled as he bowed for the nth time. "Konnichiwa Firipin-san."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Philippines." The blond gave a courteous smile.

The brunet jumped forward, beaming brightly. "You're such a pretty lady Philippines!"

"Why thank you." The female beamed back, blushing. She then gazed at the other two, offering her hand. "Kamusta!"

The pair was confused. "I'm sorry." Japan apologized. "I cannot understand that."

"Nor can I." Germany admitted. "Sorry."

The maiden gasped. "I'm so sorry!" She sheepishly scratched the back of her neck. "'Kamusta' means 'How are you' in Tagalog, the basis for the national language of my land and is the closest thing we have to saying 'Hello'."

"That's so cool!" Italy grinned.

The girl giggled at that. "Why thank you." She then beaconed the triad over. "Come on, let me show you three around!"

From the expansive Banaue Rice Terraces which could span half the globe if the steps were put end to end to the magnificent Rizal Shrine that once housed a Philippine national hero by the name of Dr. Jose Rizal to the majestic Mactan Shrine which instilled supreme reverence into those who saw the statue of that fierce warrior to the magnificent Fort Santiago that possessed a perfect replica of Dr. Jose Rizal's prison cell before he was executed to the awe-inspiring Leyte Landing Memorial Park—Japan surprisingly not cringing despite having his colonies beaten by General Douglas McArthur at Red Beach—to the exquisite curved façade covering the Barasoain Church to the splendid EDSA Shrine that simply radiated peace to the imposing Intramuros which boasted a nearly three mile long circuit of massive stone walls and fortifications that almost completely surrounded the entire district to the grand Corregidor which pretty much symbolized freedom and peace—the Japanese again somehow not flinching—to the absolutely stunning Rizal Park built in memorial for Dr. Jose Rizal...they saw it all. Wow. Just. Wow. The Philippines must be a truly incredible place to reside in.

The woman smirked. "Now you wish you just lived in the Philippines don't you?"

"I would like to visit this place very often." Italy whispered as though in a trance. "This place is so, so beautiful."

The sable nodded. "No one could possibly refute that."

"I couldn't agree more." The flaxen seconded.

The female flushed. "Oh stop it you guys!"

"It's true!" The auburn cried out as he snapped out of his stupor. "Do you have some other place you want to show us?"

The inquired tapped her chin. "Well, there are so many other places...I can't decide—"

"—Hey, what's this?" All eyes snapped onto the Italian as he snatched a piece of paper that was mysteriously floating towards him, limpid brown eyes catching sight of an adolescent male who had sunny windswept tresses above stunning blue eyes who wore a cream jacket outlined by monochromatic checkers at the seams the same as the band on his left wrist and dual rings of opposing schemes that opened up over its ebon counterpart zipped up all the way via an accessory all too similar to his identity which led to sable jeans that morphed into beige and ended at black and red sneakers on the sheet.

The fulvous went to his fellow European's side. "Hey, who's tha—"

"He's Roxas from the Kingdom Hearts series." Confused cerulean flicked onto piercing ebon orbs as their owner joined his husbands, pointing to the person in the picture. "That's him alright." Question marks floated in charcoal depths. "The question is why this would just happen to fly by—"

The snapping of fingers cut the onyx off. "That's it!" The guys turned to the girl as she spoke, an idea having flashed into her mind. "I know what to show you three now!" She ran off, the trio only able to keep up with a certain someone taking their hands and following at the speed of Italy.

"This is..." The three had caught up, the oriental trailing off as a mouth dropped; a prominent promenade boasting lush foliage amongst towering skyscrapers was before the three.

The female smiled as she spoke once more. "Did you know at the Philippines there is a place called Roxas Boulevard?" She gestured to the esplanade below them. She subsequently shrugged. "By the way, Roxas is pronounced as Ro-has not Rok-sas here in the Philippines. The Roxas name is also a common surname in the Philippines as well as being a surname of one of the past presidents of the Philippines. In fact, Roxas Boulevard is named after him." She then quirked a brow. "Did you?"

"No I didn't." The hazel shook his head.

The explainer tittered as she resumed. "This place is popular among Filipinos who enjoy outdoor activities such as jogging, watching the sunset, cycling, fishing, and anything you can think of!" She shrugged. "It also has stalls where you can buy food."

"Wow..." The sable gaped.

The flaxen was no better. "...Whoa."

"Don't just stand there!" The three snapped out of their stupors as the maiden waved them over. "Let's go and enjoy what this place has to offer!"

They did just that, the four jogging towards the bikes displayed for rent, paying with Philippine pesos for a tandem that surprisingly had three instead of two seats and a regular bicycle respectively, riding through the stretch of pristine land. They then stopped before a dock, fishing poles in each of their hands, catching—and releasing—many, _many_ fish including a humongous one that was reeled in by the Italian and Japanese with _immense_ help from the muscular German, the girl giggling at the sight of all three holding up their huge catch, taking their picture for them. They then bought food from the numerous stalls all around, enjoying a delicious picnic under the golden twilight, the female squealing at the sight of the three-way kiss being shared. Looks like we have another fangirl in our midst.

The sudden bolting up of the trio caused her eyes to widen. "Is there something wron—"

"—I hate to be rude Firipin-san, but we need to leave as soon as possible." An uncharacteristic urgency could be heard in the normally stoic nation's voice.

The usually harsh country nodded frantically. "Y-Yeah, we can't stay any longer Philippines. We need to return to the cruise immediately."

"We're about to do something that shouldn't be done with anyone nearby!" The blithe exclaimed. Oh. Oh...

A smirk crossed the lady's lips. "Then leave already!" She waved. "Paalam!"

But they were already gone.

* * *

"Oh hon hon hon! Just as planned, right?"

"Exactly! Fu so so so so!"

"Kesesesese! This is so awesome!"

Back in the surveillance room, a certain trio that was always up to no good cackled sinisterly amongst themselves, evil glints in their eyes as they gazed at what was spread out before them.

"Well we delivered." France gave a slasher smile. "She'll be satisfied beyond belief."

Prussia snickered. "We'll make millions per picture! This is the easiest money ever!"

"True." Spain smirked. "Hungary will _love_ these!"

Images upon images of a certain triad were scattered before Bad Touch, taken in six different countries. However, all of them held something in common; that certain triad was in each one...all either kissing, exchanging love-filled gazes, smiling, hugging, posing adorably before various landmarks, and so on and so on.

The French suddenly sighed, resting his chin on a palm. "Too bad we couldn't take any pictures in Santa's Workshop in Finland; we would have been discovered in a flash before the flash in our cameras could go off even disguised as elves."

"I know, right?" The Hispanic huffed. A smile spontaneously crossed his lips. "But that mistletoe you hung above those guys was a nice touch Francis!"

The addressed arrogantly laughed. "Of course." A hand swung dramatically over his eyes. "Romantic, is it not?" Simper. "I _am_ the master of romance after all; when it comes to love, I am just that awesom—"

"Hey! Only the awesome me can use that word!" The Prussian exclaimed. " _I_ am the awesome one after all!"

The blond scoffed. "Oh really?" Arms were crossed. "I'm not the one who faints every time I see Sweden—"

"That guy is _really_ scary!" The albino refuted. Even a single photo of him chasing a bushy critter who happened to be in one of the frames was more than enough to instill the deepest of fears. "He reminds me too much of my not-so-awesome experience in the Great Northern War!"

The Spanish shrugged. "Ita-chan was right after all; he correctly guessed the cause of your fainting spells."

"Those aren't 'fainting spells'!" The platinum cried out. "I was just...taking an awesome dive into the floor...face-first." Even the fibber didn't sound convinced at what he himself said.

The brunet scoffed. "Lies, lies Gilbert..." He grumbled. "You almost gave us away in front of that Skansen place in Sweden." A head shook. "I saved us all by unleashing those squirrels."

"You know West basically called you an 'idiot' who 'would be so stupid as to purposely set a bunch of rodents free', right?" A white brow quirked.

The insulted sneered. "I'm not the one who decided it was a good idea to yawn while Austria was playing the piano!" A finger jabbed straight into the accused's chest. "Seriously, we were just one second away from being exposed!"

"You're lucky Hungary only hit you once." France scorned.

Prussia humphed. "Don't you know just how boring listening to that stupid aristocrat playing the piano is?!" A slasher smile suddenly appeared. "Besides, I shoved that guitar in seconds before that stupid aristocrat said my name." It was the Prussian's turn to cross his arms. "Besides, Ita-chan's singing is _far_ better than that stupid aristocrat on the piano!"

"While I can't disagree with you there, Austria technically accompanied Ita-chan on the piano." Spain shrugged.

He was promptly ignored. "Neither of you can call the awesome me stupid!"

"Oh really?" The French jeered. "I wasn't the one whose 'HEY!' and 'WOO-HOO!' almost got the three of us shot!" Hands were held to hips. "It was a miracle that the trigger-happy Switzerland didn't shoot at us any earlier!"

The albino humphed. "Unlike you, the awesome me has an awesome little brother who has an awesome older brother aka the awesome me." Harrumph. "You wouldn't know how it feels."

"Whatever." Scoff. "It was my quick thinking with the Swiss cheese that saved us anyways."

The platinum sneered. "Oh you think you're so smart Francis?" The guy growled. "It was the awesome me dropping that crate of mangoes in front of Ita-chan that allowed him to feed that baby elephant and cow!" Cackle. "In fact, India even called the awesome me a God! The awesome me is just that awesome! No, even more awesome! Bow down before me! Worship the awesome me!" Arrogant smirk. "Convert to Prussism!"

"Um...no thanks." The Hispanic brushed the boastful off, shrugging. "Besides, it was the picture of that Roxas person I sent over that inspired Philippines to take them to Roxas Boulevard."

Emerald orbs widened as a finger jabbed into their possessor's chest. "Hey! You stole that idea from me! _Stole_ it!" The fulvous screamed. " _I'm_ the one who loves manga and has read the Kingdom Hearts manga, not you Antonio! ME!"

"Whatever." Green eyes rolled. Realization suddenly dawned on the Spaniard. "We influenced their honeymoon _quite_ a bit, haven't we?"

"You mean the awesome Gilbert did the most." Prussia scoffed.

France scowled. "Yeah right."

"We each did two things." Spain pointed out. "You didn't do any more than we did."

Hands were held to hips. "Not awesome guys!" The Prussian yelled. "Who do you think provided all that lube when those three decided to get busy?!" A thumb thrusted at its owner. "The awesome me of course. The awesome me not either of you Francis, Toni!" Harrumph. "Therefore, I did the most—"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Three sets of eyes snapped from where they were glaring at each other, Bad Touch immediately rushing over to the monitors. The French groaned. "Aww man! We missed the foreplay!"

"We wasted all that time arguing." The Spanish shook his head, truly rueful.

A snicker drew all attention to the platinum. "Then let's shut up and enjoy the show!"

"Agreed." The brunet shrugged.

The flaxen did too. "Same." Lips were lasciviously licked. "You know, I was shocked those three were on the nice list given how 'naughty' they've been before and now." Obscene smirk. Perverted laughter followed instantly. It was as though they weren't just trying to bite each other's heads off a short while ago.

"You know, I always wondered how Ita-chan could fit two huge ones in so easily..." Green flicked up to a certain scene on the screen.

The French shrugged. "Those two are just that lucky they have a guy who is so accommodating."

"Lucky indeed." The Prussian slumped into his chair. "Man, West and Japan are _far_ too lucky! I want some of that!" A dreamy sigh resounded. "Imagine if I could sink my five meters into—"

A hand instantly covered his mouth. "Ew! No one wants to hear that!" France frowned.

"Sure. Whatever." Red eyes rolled as that hand was removed.

Spain sighed. "It's because Ita-chan loves them and they love him, remember?"

"Nani ga arou tomo watashi wa kimi wo eien ni aishimasu, watashi no tenshi. Watashi no kichōna koibito. Anata mo, Ludwig-san. Futari tomo."

"Denken Sie daran Ich werde dich immer lieben beide, mein Engel. Meine kostbare Liebhaber...ihr beide."

"Io sarò sempre ti amo entrambi troppo i miei angeli! Miei amanti preziosi!"

Prussia pouted. "You could not have stated a more obvious fact." The albino sneered. "Even a brain-dead horse knows this." A frustrated sigh resounded. "Come on! Didn't I say we should be shutting up and watching the show?!"

"Okay." Spain couldn't agree more.

Nor could France. "Fine."

And shut up they did.

* * *

Translation:

•German: Ja tatsächlich=Yes indeed, Guten Morgen=Good morning, Wunderschön=Beautiful, Bruder=Brother, Hallo=Hello, Danke=Thank you, Denken Sie daran Ich werde dich immer lieben beide=Remember I'll always love you both, mein Engel=my angel, Meine kostbare Liebhaber=My precious lover, ihr beide=you both

•Japanese: Suteki da ne=Isn't it wonderful, Ohayōgozaimasu=Good morning, Finrando=Finland, Subarashii=Wonderful, Hai=Yes, Puroisen=Prussia, Suweiden=Sweden, Osutoria=Austria, Konnichiwa=Hello, Hangarī=Hungary, Suisu=Switzerland, nii-chan=big brother, Chūgoku=China, Arigato=Thank you, Indo=India, Sugoi=Amazing, itoshii=beloved, Firipin=Philippines, Nani ga arou tomo watashi wa kimi wo eien ni aishimasu=I will love you forever no matter what, watashi no tenshi=my angel, Watashi no kichōna koibito=My precious lover, Anata mo=You also, Futari tomo=Both of you

•Italian: Fantastico=Wonderful, Buongiorno a tutti e due=Good morning to you both, Eccezionale=Exceptional, Sì=Yes, Grazie=Thank you, Io sarò sempre ti amo entrambi troppo i miei angeli=I'll always love you both too my angels, Miei amanti preziosi=My precious lovers

•Tagalog: Kamusta=How are you, Paalam=Bye

How was it?

**Please review! I really appreciate them and they motivate me to write more!**


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